A weeks worth of Gifts
by maraudermap03
Summary: Ok well the sequel to a weeks worth of chat up lines but it is not nesasarry to read that first though it does help. Well ENJOY! AND REVIEW!
1. When it all began

A/N: Ok well this is the sequel!!! Hope you enjoy it!!! Anyway sorry it's taken a lil bit longer than anticipated to start this off but well...you know what I'm like sometimes. Ok well on with the story.  
  
Disclaim: Ok well what you know and love from the Harry Potter books belongs to J.K.Rowling. Everything else on the other hand is MINE!!  
  
Chapter one: When it all began  
  
After everything Lily and James had been through and how it was his idea Sirius felt very smug and even more smug at all the money he had made and that Lily and James were still going out and getting stronger by the day.  
  
James was often taunted and boasted to about how he was right and how HIS idea had been a success.  
  
"James, give me some ideas for divination I'm running out," asked Sirius. "No" said James looking up only slightly to see the disgruntled look on his friends face. "I haven't got that many myself."  
  
"Excuse me but who made your life into the utter delightfulness that it has become." Sirius gave James a meaningful look and faced his own work.  
  
"Ok, ok but this is the last time...I've got being Burt by a dragon, falling off the top flight of Hogwarts stairs, and being drowned by moaning Mertyl. That's all your getting and no more EVER!!" James grinned at Sirius but stopped when a red haired girl he had grown used to loving him came into view.  
  
Lily sat down next to James and looked at his work and nodded whilst a smile played on her lips. "What?" He asked looking at her and back at his work. "Nothing!" Lily tried to hide a smile. Little did either of them know that Jade had come up behind them and was listening to every word.  
  
"James you're never going to survive the week if all those things happen to you...your dying on the first day of the month." Jade smiled at James's shocked face, and Remus, Peter, Sirius and Lehanna burst into laughter.  
  
"I don't know why your laughing Sirius you've done exactly the same!" Everyone laughed again and Sirius discretely changed it.  
  
Sirius always thought Jade was very blunt and outspoken and he also happened to think that was one of the qualities Lehanna and Lily valued most about her. Jade was staring straight at him. "WHAT? Have I got something on my face?" Sirius was very feverish and started feeling his face for flaws.  
  
"No. I was wondering why you were staring at ME?" Asked Jade.  
  
"I wasn't staring at you"  
  
"Yes you were" said Jade.  
  
"You were Padfoot," Said both Remus and James at once.  
  
Sirius looked dumbfounds and just didn't know what to say. "I'm going to bed...me and Oggy will be off for a good nights beauty sleep."  
  
"There isn't enough sleep in the world" said James. Sirius threw four dung bombs down behind him and ran.  
  
Everyone else ran for their perspective dormitories James and Lily giving each other a quick kiss.  
  
James, Remus, Sirius, Peter and Oggy were all sat in the middle of the floor with their pillows and quilts playing dares.  
  
"James truth or dare?" asked Remus. "Hmm truth." "Right...well how many times have you fell off your broom when no ones been around?" Asked Remus. James blushed. "Three times but it was windy on all those days!" Exclaimed James pointed at Remus. It was James's turn and he picked Sirius and planned revenge.  
  
"Sirius, truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare of course my friend"  
  
"Ok well, you know that I had to do the whole chat up line thing with Lily for a week...well I want you to do the same. But you can't use chat up lines because that's too easy as you'll just use the ones I've used."  
  
"One problem Prongs who and what?" Said Remus.  
  
James sat and thought, as did Remus. Both whispered to each other and conversed with Peter on the subject until the idea was formed and Sirius looked nervous.  
  
"Right you have to give Jade gifts for a week no talking just gifts and you can have small gift tags on of course and you have to win her heart."  
  
"But I don't fancy Jade"  
  
"Sirius by all counts you were caught staring at her and you two have a similar personality and plus we and I also include Lily and Lehanna in this think you too would make a good couple." Remus smiled got up and declared it was time to go to bed. Sirius had to admit Jade was pretty but he had never really thought about her the way they thought he did. But a dare was a dare and Sirius dare not turn it down for the marauder consequences if a dare was refused and Sirius did not EVER want to be in that position. The thought alone made him shudder.  
  
Sirius took a midnight trip to the owlery to order a variety of gifts, little did he know that whilst he was doing this James and Remus were preparing the document for Sirius to sign when he returned.  
  
"Padfoot sign here please...the same rules apply after the week if it doesn't work well that's it!" James placed the document in front of Sirius and remembered how nervous he had been when he was in Sirius's current position.  
  
"Do I have to sign?" Sirius looked rather preoccupied and nervous.  
  
"So you do fancy her then?" Said Remus coolly.  
  
"NO!" Sirius signed the document quickly and watched as it disappeared. The next would arrive along with Sirius first three orders for Jade.  
  
The next morning Sirius felt bright and refreshed and challenged. If James could stick to it and win so could he I mean how hard could it be.  
  
"Morning James, Remus, Peter" Sirius nodded to each accordingly and went to have a wash.  
  
A large number of owls arrived carrying numerous parcels. "Sirius they are all for you" shouted Remus.  
  
"Yeah open them for me please and place them on my bed" Sirius said after he had spat out his toothpaste.  
  
James and Remus opened all the parcels and found to their amusement a jumble of presents wee lay on his bed and all of them were they typical things Sirius was liable to buy when left to shop on his own. Both of them laughed but both also refused to say anything about the kind of response Sirius was likely to receive.  
  
Sirius was confident that his gifts were funny but still had that simple sophistication that he wanted to put across with his gifts.  
  
When the girls arrived at breakfast it was as usual. Lily sat with James and the two talk though this morning it was in whispers as James explained to Lily what was happening, and Remus explained to Lehanna. Both of whom thought that it was a good idea and the only way to get them to admit the obvious.  
  
Sirius passes Jade a small parcel but knowing Sirius made Jade very sceptical about opening it. But when she did it was far from what she had expected. It was a large tub of body chocolate. Her mouth opened but it didn't close she was shocked beyond normal shock. When she read the card her mouth dropped open even more. Jade, You can come round mine any time!  
  
Love Sirius x  
  
Sirius leaned over and whispered to James. "Simple sophistication" and looked back at Jade who was still stone still and mouth open.  
  
A/N: Sorry if this one was a lil bit more boring at the start than the other one. Anyway I hope you do like it and the rest gets better and REVIEW!!!!! 


	2. The night before and the day after

A/N: Well people I ALREADY GOT 3 REVIEWS!!!! Which is good for saying it's only been up one day so I'm very happy! You've all made me a happy woman.  
  
Disclaim: What you know from the book belongs to J.K.Rowling and what you know but only from my story is MINE!  
  
Thanks to... Kay 345 – I'm sooo glad that you decided to read the sequel and I hope that you really like this A LOT!  
  
Smrt Cids – WOW your reading it!! Cool anyway hope you enjoy it and continue to review!  
  
Child of Scorpio – OH cool you read the sequel too lol. Ok I think I've gone mad. Anyway hope you enjoy this and find it just as funny though I think this one will be harder to write. Oh and thanks for the gift idea it was hilarious and will be used in this chapter.  
  
Danz – Hey!! I will be using your ideas a lil bit later on in the story Hehe. They were very sweet and not something I would have thought of actually. Anyway hope you enjoy this and I want completely honest reviews on this story!! Lol  
  
Chapter two – The night before and the day after  
  
Jade was still in shock by the time Lehanna and Lily had directed her into the dormitory and sat her down on the bad. Jade still had the small card and tub of body chocolate in her hands and her mouth was still open.  
  
"Jade, are you ok?" Lily asked cautiously as she approached Jade in the hope she'd receive some sort of answer.  
  
"Huh" was all that escaped Jade's mouth and she suddenly fell backwards onto her bed and lay there speechless whilst Lily and Lehanna just stayed into the room reading and doing homework in silence until she spoke.  
  
"Why oh why would he give me body chocolate?"  
  
Lehanna, Lily and Jade all laughed and found the instructions given at the back were quite graphical and amusing.  
  
Remove the spatula from the side of your tub of body chocolate and spread thick or thinly depending on your personal taste and requirements for enjoyment over the abdominal parts of the body. Or if you desire other sections of the body.  
  
They laughed at this first small section and chucked the tub under Jades bed and all went to sleep feeling very ecstatic.  
  
The next morning the body chocolate was still lying under the bed forgotten. Things were also falling back into place. Lehanna and Jade were waiting with James, Remus and Peter in the dormitory. Sirius was still getting ready, as was Lily who still now struggled with time again now that her mind was in one place. James was sick of waiting and ran up to his own dormitory and many shuffles and muffled screams could be heard coming from there. James came downstairs with his broom in one hand and dragging Sirius with the other.  
  
Once down he got on his broom and flew up the girl's stairs into their dormitory.  
  
"I can not believe that he dragged me down in the middle of my morning routine." Exclaimed Sirius indignantly.  
  
"Well maybe you should get ready quicker Sirius," said Jade. Sirius was about to reply when he remembered two things. The first being he was not allowed to speak to Jade and the second being that he had left her gift upstairs.  
  
Everyone looked at Sirius strangely when he ran back upstairs and come down shoving something into his bag.  
  
When James flew back down laughing it was soon apparent why when Lily came running down after him.  
  
"JAMES POTTER!" Lily had water all down her top. "Cant you just knock on the door like normal people, then I would not be soaking WET!"  
  
"Its nice to know you still get on the wrong side of Lily," said Sirius.  
  
"Shut up Sirius" said Lily.  
  
"Its ok Lil's I know I spell to dry you up. Frinell" one flick of James's wand and Lily was dry.  
  
At breakfast there were glances from both sides of the table mostly at Sirius and Jade, because she had not mentioned the night before and because Sirius had so far not done anything else. Well until he pulled a package out of his bag and passed it to Jade.  
  
"Sirius I don't mean to be rude...well I do but why the hell are you giving me these ridiculous presents"  
  
Sirius turned to James.  
  
"James these presents are sophisticated, how can she call them ridiculous"  
  
"Sirius I am here you know you can say all this to me you don't have to mummer to James."  
  
"I'd just open it if I were you" said Remus as they all go up to head for transfiguration.  
  
Jade read the label before opening the present.  
  
Jade  
  
No offence but I bet every girl either needs or could use one of these.  
  
Love Sirius x  
  
Apprehensive that the gift might be something useful Jade ripped the wrapping paper off and was amazed and shocked at was lay in her hands. Little did she know of the strange looks she was receiving.  
  
When she did notice however she shoved them quickly into her bag. When she got to transfiguration she sat down in-between Lily and Lehanna.  
  
"What did he get you?" Asked Lehanna, Lily turned round to face Jade and three of the four boys sitting in front of them went incredibly quiet and their ears perked up.  
  
"He got me a set of bloody breast suspenders!" whispered Jade dramatically. "I don't know what I am going to do about this...its ridiculous...and I don't know why you two are laughing?"  
  
"Hey! You laughed at me when it was James using chat up lines" said Lily. Jade suddenly looked regretful.  
  
"Well...I fully apologise for laughing and would really appreciate it if you would just go up to Sirius and tell him to stop or at least try and find out some sort of explanation for all this." Jade placed her hands on her hip and looked expectantly at both of her friends.  
  
"No. I didn't get any sympathy and anyway since when did you not want to tell someone what you think." Said Lily confused.  
  
"Actually Lily I think this proves something." Lehanna said out of nowhere.  
  
"Like what?" Said Lily. "I'll tell you later." Lehanna winked and turned back to her work. Snickering was tacking place between James, Remus and Peter.  
  
"You actually brought her a breast suspender! Where the HELL did you manage to find something so...so. I can't even think of a word to describe it" James just looked on in disbelief of his friend who sat believing that his gift was one of pure excellence.  
  
"I'm sure its something every girl would want and need I'm sure she'll find it useful." Sirius smiled and shrugged it off.  
  
"What other gifts are you giving to Jade today?" Asked Remus.  
  
"Ahh that my friend is a surprise." Said Sirius as he tapped his nose. That one action was enough to conclude that today was going to be interesting and amusing.  
  
When the bell went and everyone was making their way to the Great hall for break Sirius walked up to Jades side and shoved another gift into her hand. Before walking ahead with James, Remus and Peter.  
  
Lily and Lehanna urged jade to open it that by now really dreaded every single parcel she received. She ripped the paper off and chucked it on the floor. In her hands she held a kissing love tester.  
  
"What's it say on the card?" Asked Lehanna. Lily picked it up and read it aloud.  
  
"Jade, you can use this with me anytime and our love with blow that breast suspender into the skies. Love Sirius." Lily tried to hide a smile.  
  
"That is it!! You wait until I see him. I am going to give him a piece of my mind." Jade stomped down the corridor and it didn't seem that her mood would improve until everything was off her chest.  
  
Jade had no opportunities during the last lessons of the day to speak to Sirius. When they all headed out to the great hall together with the exception of Sirius who was nowhere to e found which was bound to be bad news for Jade.  
  
In the great hall the usual food appeared and still Sirius was not around. When the main meals disappeared and the puddings arrived, something a little different also appeared.  
  
Above the Gryffindore table right above where Jade was sitting Sirius came floating down though he was not dressed in his usual clothes but as a cupid in what appeared to be a white sheet wrapped around his lower body and across his chest. He also had a bow and arrow at his side and in his hands that he was holding out to Jade was a cake in the shape of boxers that had quite a large bulge with whipped cream on it. Written in icing on the cake was "This is me every time I see you". Jade it seemed finally snapped.  
  
"SIRIUS BLACK YOU PATHETIC IGNORANT WASTE OF A HUMAN BEING!!!!" Jade snatched the cake away from Sirius and chucked it in his face. She walked briskly out of the hall and left everyone else to laugh at Sirius's humility. Sirius was given a detention by professor McGonagall for indecent exposure and inappropriate behaviour. For everyone else on the other hand it was the introduction to the next Hogwarts live show.  
  
A/N: OH MY GOD!!! Thanks for your reviews. Anyway I don't think this is as good but let me know what you think anyway and I want honest reviews. 


	3. HopelesslyAttached to you!

**A/N: I AM SOOOOO SORRY! It would have been done quicker but the computer bust and I only just got it back and I've been ill and lets just say it's not been a good week. Anyway I hope you like this and again I am SORRY! **

**Disclaim: What you know from the books belongs to J.K.Rowling. What you know only from my stories is mine!**

**Thanks to...**

**Danz - Thanks for the review all gift ideas sentimental and funny will be used. He he. Anyway again i am sorry it took so long but I have tried to make it worth the wait!**

**Child of Scorpio - Thank you! Again I am sooooooo sorry. Hope you like this chapter. Oh yeah and sorry I didn't review your new chapter straight away but the computer broke as I was checking my e-mails. **

**Smrt cids - Thank you. Hope you like this chapter and I am sorry for the wait!**

**Chapter three**

**Day Three - Hopelessly...attached to you!**

**The event that had taken place the night before had not left Jade in good grace the next morning. She was far from happy, content or even just plain ok. Convincing her that breakfast was a good idea meant a number of things. Lily was not going to get her lie in and Lehanna would have to be more diplomatic and persuasive than usual. **

**Sirius on the other hand seemed rather pleased, he wouldn't tell any one why but if Sirius was pleased it had to be something that would please him greatly.**

**When it seemed that everyone was finally down in breakfast not just Sirius had a smile on his face, but all four of the marauders bore an inane grin across their rosy faces. Not until just before breakfast was about to end did everyone find out why. First James and Sirius stood up.**

**"Bilbijo" Both muttered whilst flicking their wands. Then Remus and Peter stood up and also muttered a spell. "Hadinum". Both spells revealed all the Slytherin boys in drag and all the slytherin girls wearing male clothing and jump suits with fake moustaches or beards. Everyone but the slytherin's found the whole thing quite amusing even more so the marauders due to the fact that they know the effects of the spell don't wear off until four hours later. **

**As they headed out of the hall the atmosphere though slightly thick around Jade was light and joyful...until that is Sirius took out a package and passed it to Jade. She refused to open it, which in Sirius view made things easier for his plan. He opened the gift for Jade and put the pink and blue fluffy handcuffs onto one of Jades wrists and locked it up and placed the keys in his pocket. He gave the tag to James who read it aloud. **

**"Jade, due to toilet and girly boyish things I will not attach you to me but the next gift will prove to be the gift of your dreams. Believe me you, wont be forgetting me for a while! Love Sirius."**

**Jade looked horrified and started to swing the unused side of the handcuffs at Sirius who had to run all the way to charms. Everyone else it seemed laughed. **

**In eagerness to find out what Sirius intended on attaching Jade to no one could wait for the lessons to end. If not Sirius what or who else would he want to make Jade lug around with her for the rest of the day.**

**Well they only had to wait until break to find out. Sirius with the help of James and Remus snuck up behind Jade with something they were holding between them. Jade, Lily and Lehanna did notice them until Sirius grabbed the unused handcuff and attached it to what seemed to be the wrist of somebody else. **

**They all looked at the life size cut out of Sirius himself with roller-skates on the feet of the cut out so that Jade could move it around with herself.**

"**Sirius I hope you know what your doing?" James muttered. Sirius just smiled and muttered something back.**

"**She wont be able to get me off her mind." James just shook his head.**

**Jade looked at what was now attached to her wrist with the help of the handcuffs Sirius had brought her. **

"**You had better take this off me now!" she said as steadily and politely as she possible could. Lehanna and Lily however noticed a red alert and tried to warm Remus, James and Peter to remove Sirius from her sight.**

**Lily was shaking her head at James and made moving gestures with her hands. James gradually got the message and dragged a confused Sirius away…quickly. **

**Later on in the girls dormitory Lily and Lehanna were trying hard to remove the cut out Sirius from the handcuffs and try to remove the handcuffs all together.**

"**Can you believe that he would do this? What is it all about? I could have killed him when he attached me to a cut out of himself." Jade still could not contain her anger.**

"**Look maybe its just a faze he's going through" said Lehanna, Jade of course did not look convinced. **

"**Maybe…he likes you, quite a lot and he just wants you to take an interest." Lily suggested quietly and delicately. Jade looked mutinous.**

"**Well he is going the wrong way about it." Jade was interrupted by a voice coming from the bottom of the stairs.**

"**LILY!" It was James.**

**Lily looked apologetic towards both her friends as she headed downstairs to James. When she reached the bottom James placed an arm around her and pulled her in close, they kissed at the bottom of the stairs unaware of people watching. **

"**You were pretty eager," exclaimed Lily as they headed for the couch where the rest of the marauders sat comfortably. **

**When Sirius saw Lily it gave him an idea.**

"**Lil's what can I do to stop Jade slapping me, shouting at me and throwing and swinging things at me. I just don't get it my gifts are great and useful why doesn't she like them?"**

**Lily felt her eyes grow wide and a small nrevous grin produce from her mouth.**

**"Well, you could try being a bit more sesative, or try something a bit less you, just some things that are funny not that are...whats the word..."**

**"I know the word your looking for, its sofistication. She cant handle the fact that I have deeper side to me" Said Sirius.**

**"Well actually the words I was looking for was something along the lines of pathetic." Lily put it as gently as she could, but Sirius still looked disheartened.**

**"Look Sirius just start by removing the handcuffs and the life size cut out. Then maybe try someting just a little bit funny and then maybe move onto sensative." Said Lily remembering what had won her over, whether the same would work for Jade or not was another matter.**

**Sirius thought about it and decided she was right. So off he went. He got his broom and he flew into the girls dormitories.**

**He used his key and removed the handuffs, he snapped his life size cut out up, it broke his heart...nearly. Jade was still standing in a state of shock unbefitting for someone with anger running through her evey vein. But he had removed it she thought...then she thought no he still deserves a slap. **

**After dinner, Jade has relaxed, a lot. She was sat with Lily, Lehanna, James, Remus, Peter and Sirius. They all felt absolutely stuffed. The food that night had far exceeded itself. The houseelves it seemed and had to extra lengths to please. **

**Sirius left a few moments later. He seemed increasingly worried as the the time went on before he left. What surprised the others and alarmed Jade, she just had one of them feeling when she new it had something to do with her. **

**Sirius came down the stairs and cautiously etered the Gryffinodore common room. You couldnt see Sirius's face for the large plant or small tree depending on how you wanted to look at it. BUt it wasnt an ordinary tree/plant it had different coloured blown up condoms attached to the branches and leaves. But the most bizzar thing was that it was playing music. **

_**'I lovvvvve youuuu...please say you lovvvve meeee toooo, with these words we can-'**_

**Sirius walked over to Jade and gave her the tree. Remus, Peter and James all laughed and applauded. Lehanna and Lily decided to wait until they saw Jades reaction befrore they laughed or incase she turned nasty kept their mouths shut. **

**Jade didnt utter a word. Sirius stood still with his face screwed up and eyes squeezed tight just in case she tried to slap him. But she didnt.**

**She laughed!**

**Sirius couldnt believe his own ears. Then again he had never really trusted them. But if they werent deciving him she was laughing.**

**"Sirius...haha...you daft...hahahaha..nitwit" and that was all she said, she had even started crying with joy. Lily and Lehanna both found it safe to laugh, what worried them now however was how were they going to get Jade to stop laughing. She had doubled over cluching her stomach and pointing at the plant and then Sirius. **

**When she had calmed down she picked up the plant and Siriu looked worried again.**

**"I'm going to put this on my bed side table...absolutely brilliant. You know as strange as this may seem this is one of them really weird presents that i have always wanted" With that she left with a spring in her step for the dormitories.**

**"Now that is my kind of girl" Said Sirius. The others however seemed to think both Jade and Sirius needed their heads checking. "Lily you were right it seems. I might take your advice more often."  
**

**"Stop picking on the Slytherines, stop sneaking out at night, and stop playing as many pranks as you do-"**

**Sirius interupted Lily. "Well maybe not all your advice just on some of the girly things." Lily smiled and what else would she expect from Sirius. **

**As the night progressed they each left for bed. Lily lay awake cursing herself for not falling asleep despite how tired she felt. Then again she might have found it desturbing that Jade even now in her sleep had a big grin on her face and would occasionally laugh really loudly or chuckle.**

**A/N sorry about how late it is and how it ends in an odd way? Anyway i will hopefully update this fanfic soon.**


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